The Eight Parts of Sheep
(I Mean Speech)
© Terrill Shepard Soules 2002 All Rights Reserved
Mr. Soules’s not Really a Rap
(Made up for the
students
of a truly great Home Room
[Turner Middle School, Language Arts,2002].)
1. and 2.
NOUNS are the towns.
Atlanta, Chicago, Miami, Beijing.
Highways are the VERBS.
Driving, riding, speeding,
on the highways in between . . .
. . . the NOUNS,
which are the towns.
You travel to and from them
on the highway VERBS,
where you race and you cruise,
till you pull up at the curb.
(Curb, of course, is also a NOUN,
just like frown
and crown
and gown
and clown
and frown—
and town.)
3.
CONJUNCTIONS are the intersections.
CONJUNCTIONS connect.
CONJUNCTIONS are where
two different ideas intersect.
CONJUNCTIONS are where you turn
to go a different way.
Like when you’re on your way
to somewhere where you play.
(But first you’ve got to earn:
When you play you pay.)
I do this.
I love you.
I do this because I love you.
See how because CONNECTS the two?
I did this.
I did that.
I did this and I did that.
I did this before I did that,
even before I fed my cat.
4.
Ahem.
Warning signs are INTERJECTIONS.
Yikes! Wow! Oof! Gosh! Gee! Ow! Hallelujah!
5.
NOUNS are the cars.
The colors they are
are the ADJECTIVES.
Red, green, yellow, purple, white, blue.
How old the cars are
are the ADJECTIVES.
New. Used. Ten years, five years, two.
How expensive they are
are the ADJECTIVES.
Expensive. Affordable. (Maybe for you.)
How fast they go
are the ADJECTIVES
Slow, fast, faster, smoking.
ADJECTIVES are fast.
(You think I’m joking?)
6.
Every PRONOUN has a boss.
That boss is a NOUN,
because it’s not poss-
ible for any PRONOUN on God’s green Earth
not to be working for a NOUN.
They do.
She does.
He does.
They all do.
Sometimes boss NOUN is a mountain.
Sometimes boss NOUN is a fish.
Sometimes boss NOUN is a parrot.
Sometimes boss NOUN is a wish.
She’s a snowy mountain.
They’re delicious fish.
He’s a talkative parrot.
It’s a wonderful wish.
You can never have an it
without what the it is.
An it without its NOUN
is a Coke without its fizz.
7.
And every ADVERB has a boss.
But who the boss is is kind of a toss-
up:
Usually ADVERBs
work for a VERB.
Their job: tell us how
something happens.
VERBS just smile.
With an ADVERB’s help
they smile happily.
VERBS just talk.
With an ADVERB’s help
they talk constantly.
ly ly ly ly ly ly ly
Some ADVERBS work
for ADJECTIVES.
ADJECTIVES are cold.
With an ADVERB’s help
they’re very cold,
extremely cold,
really really really cold.
ly ly ly ly ly ly ly
And some ADVERBS work
for ADVERBS,
like a man working for a man.
Say an ADVERB working in a jungle
says it’s extremely cold.
That ADVERB needs another ADVERB,
because it’s rarely extremely cold.
Some ADVERBs drive dangerously.
Some suddenly pull over to the curb.
Some ADVERBs park in front of ADJECTIVEs.
Some park in front of a VERB.
And sometimes ADVERBS pile up,
ADVERB on top of ADVERB.
When one brakes extremely suddenly,
ly word slams into ly word.
8.
That’s seven parts of speech, and there are eight.
Should we say what’s missing,
or should we wait?
INTERJECTION! Let’s do it now!
PREPOSITIONS, take a bow!
PREPOSITIONs—pick two NOUNs.
PREPOSITIONs—write this down—
PREPOSITIONs tell you position.
What’s NOUN 2 doing? Ask a PREPOSITION.
Let’s say NOUN 1 is a box.
And say NOUN 2 is some socks.
The socks are IN the box.
The socks are AROUND the box.
The socks are OVER the box.
The smell of those socks
hangs OVER the box.
Where are those socks?
Over there BY the box.
Why don’t you hide them UNDER the box?
Those are some pretty smelly socks.
Hide [which is a VERB]
them [PRONOUN]
UNDER [PREPOSITION]
the [ARTICLE—
Uh, what’s an ARTICLE?
Very simple: a or the.]
Anyway: Hide. them. UNDER. the.
box [NOUN].
Better [ADJECTIVE]
yet [ADVERB]
burn [VERB]
them [PRONOUN]!
Burn [VERB]
those [PRONOUN]
socks [NOUN]!
"But I thought you said that NOUNS are towns?"
Well, they are.
But so are socks.
So are a million things.
So are socks and so is a box.
And so are the flocks,
the flocks of sheep,
the flocks of sheep
who never have to keep
chewing and chewing
and chewing and chewing
and chewing and chewing
and chewing and chewing
on the eight parts of speech.